Divorce is a unique struggle for each individual that goes through it. But there are points where it seems tougher than others and we’d be lying if we said the holidays wasn’t one of those times.
For many, this could be your first time seeing family since making your decision. Maybe certain members of your family don’t know. Maybe just the idea of being around your family to begin with is enough to make old feelings bubble back to the surface. Whatever you’re going though, we know it’s probably hard.
Today, we’re going to talk about some self-care things you can do to make your holiday season while going through divorce be something that’s a little bit less of a burden. Let’s jump right in.
Do something nice for yourself
So many people spend so much time worrying about everyone else over the holidays that they forget to look out for #1. You’ve been through a lot and honestly there’s nothing selfish or wrong with taking the edge off. Go get a massage. Go out to dinner with a friend. Do something that’ll help you feel better about you. Yes, money can be tight during a divorce, but you don’t have to spend a ton of money in order to do something nice for yourself.
Have a plan
The best way to reduce anxiety and introduce a combative moment into your holiday plans is to just be preemptive and plan a little bit. Think about how you’ll discuss your divorce with others and stick to it. Be sure to think about what you want to say and most importantly – be aware of how you’ll say it. People will have questions – don’t get mad – it’s natural to have that curiosity and most of the questions will come from a place of empathy.
Think about how you’ll manage kids if they’re involved. Remember, your kids will want to spend time with both of their parents. If you aren’t with your kids on the big day, plan a day when you will. Above all else though – BE FLEXIBLE with each other when it comes to your children. If they’re a few minutes late because they’re having a good time with your ex’s family, or opening presents goes longer or whatever it is – that’s a GOOD THING. Just ask for communication.
Don’t spend your holidays alone
Above all else, do NOT spend your holidays alone. Most divorcees are surprised at how supportive and helpful their friends and family become when they learn about your situation. Reach out to people who care about you and are supportive. Especially at this point in your life where you’ll be questioning your worth to others – don’t. Pick up the phone, reach out and surround yourself with people who want to champion you.
Hopefully you found today’s blog helpful. If you’re experiencing a divorce in the Tampa FL area, feel free to give us a call today and we’ll be happy to help you walk through how our mediation services work. Until then, happy holidays and the best of luck!