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Divorce no-no’s every mediator and lawyer will tell you to avoid

Topic: Divorce
Sep 25, 2022

It’s hard to set expectations with anything in life you’re not intimately familiar with. Any new topic, experience is bound to bring with it a learning curve that can be easier for some to grasp than others. Today, we’re going to talk about some of the unrealistic expectations that people going through a divorce sometimes have – and what you can do to better set those expectations for what the actual experience itself is more likely to be. 

Here are some things you should avoid thinking about in the event you find yourself in the midst of a divorce. Let’s jump right in. 

Don’t expect a windfall

One of the most common mistakes divorcees think is that somehow, they’ll end up a little bit more financially secure or experience some sort of windfall and that’s simply not true. The same household that was supported by two incomes will now be two households supported by one income. You can’t keep the house AND the cars AND the accounts AND the kids. If you’re the breadwinner spouse, you’ll probably pay some sort of child/spousal support. If you’re not, you’ll need to be prepared to learn that child support is often much less than what you expected. 

Don’t do things out of spite

Not all divorces are created equal and while we’d like to say that some end with little conflict – others are born in conflict and remain there. Even if you fall into the later – it’s important to not let your emotions and anger towards your soon-to-be-ex take over your decision making ability. Behaving angry, being angry and acting angry are all things that can damage your standing in the eyes of a judge or mediator. 

Don’t compare your divorce to others

Every divorce is different. While they share similar conflict and emotions – your journey will be your journey. It won’t be your friend, neighbor or cousin’s journey. We’re not saying to NOT lean on the people with shared experiences – in fact we encourage you to. And to double down on that – there’s a lot you can learn! But understand that just because something happened one way in one divorce, doesn’t mean it’ll play out the same way in yours. 

Mediators can save money and help you break cleanly

While a good lawyer can certainly carry your case along quickly and at less expense – sometimes you might not need one at all. Especially if you’re fairly amicable and there’s a clear understanding of what belongs to whom financially – you could save yourself a ton of money and stress by just going to way of a mediator. 

Hopefully you found today’s blog helpful! If you’re looking for a Tampa Divorce Mediation service, feel free to give us a call and we’ll be happy to further explore your situation. Until then – good luck!