Mediation is an invaluable resource when it comes to getting a divorce. Not only can it help expedite the procedure and save you a lot of money, it can dramatically reduce the emotional stress that comes along with it.
That being said, mediation only works if you approach it with the right mindset. Here are some tips for you to consider if you’ve elected to use mediation. These will help make the process go more smoothly and help to achieve a better result for both parties. Let’s jump right in.
Be willing to compromise
Too many couples tend to think of divorce as mortal kombat and while we wish that wasn’t the case – sometimes it actually is. That being said, it doesn’t have to be that way and as much as you might want everything to go in your favor, you should be open to some give and take. When you approach divorce with an overriding goal of achieving the best possible outcome for both of you, it will likely encourage your ex to do the same.
Take the emotions out of it
Easier said than done, right? We get it. Divorces are full of emotions and they’re often difficult to set aside. And trust us, there will be times where you’ll let your emotions get the better of you. But as difficult as that all sounds, try to approach mediation like you would a business. How will a decision affect your life now? Or after the divorce? Perhaps years from now? How will this decision impact your goals and where you want to end up? Will giving up this thing mean that you could get something else more important? Weight the risk and the rewards and perhaps it can give you a little bit better perspective when you’re making your decisions.
Nothing gets done if you’re not talking. Mediators will help achieve common ground, but they can only do so when both of you are willing to show your cards and be transparent about what’s important to you. If you’re hiding those feelings, needs, wants and desires, then it will be impossible to achieve a result that will be beneficial for all.
Be open minded
The one GOOD thing about mediation is that there aren’t really rules in terms of what a solution looks like. That’s to say – be open (and encourage your ex to do the same) to unusual situations and solutions. While it can be challenging, mediation will empower you to be creative in how you solve your problems whereas a judge doesn’t have time for you or your ex’s interpretive dance as to how something went or should go. They’re going to make a decision thumbs up or thumbs down and things that are important to you might not go your way. So be open to getting creative with each other.
Mediation is often the best approach to divorce. By being creative, communicating and being open to negotiating, you’ll more than likely achieve a result that meets both of your needs. We hope these tips will give you a little bit of perspective and guidance as to what you should prioritize and expect – and we hope this makes the choice of mediation a little bit more appealing. Good luck!