Divorce is a long, winding, complicated process that not only can leave scars on you as an individual, but others in your life as well. We’ve all heard of those pieces where people tell you what they wish they could tell their 20 year old selves and today, we’re going to share some of the regrets and things that people wish they knew before going through Tampa divorce mediation.
Here’s some of the things we hear:
The only way out is through
There’s no such thing as a shortcut when it comes to divorce. There’s the emotional toll, but also the process of essentially separating two (maybe more) lives. YOu shouldn’t expect to heal quickly or have all the answers. Take your time, be honest and understand what you and your former partner want: a clean break that’s as easy on everyone as possible.
Sometimes taking a step forward means taking two steps back first
Divorces aren’t always super painful, but they are slow and arduous. There will be days where you make great progress. There will be long stretches where nothing happens. Other days, you might feel like you have to take some steps back. Go easy on yourself and each other. While it’s easy to understand the desire for urgency, it’s important to remember this isn’t a race. Light is at the end of the tunnel and yes- you’ll get through this.
Get people around you who’ve been in your shoes
Birds of a feather flock together and trust us when we tell you – having a solid support network around you is huge. They’ll help support you emotionally but you’ll also need trusted advisors as well – people who genuinely have your back. And don’t forget – experience is often the best teacher. A friend who’s been through divorce themselves might help cover some blind spots you might not be thinking about or considering.
Also – don’t be afraid to have more pros behind you other than an attorney or Tampa Divorce mediator. It might be time to talk to your financial advisor – a crack real estate agent to help you find a new home or sell your current one, etc. Every good fighter has a trainer and a cutman. Make sure you’ve got your team behind you!
Don’t bury your ex
This one can be hard – particularly if the circumstances surrounding your divorce aren’t good ones. But here’s what’s important: they’ve agreed to divorce you. While they’ll always be a part of your life, they won’t consume it heading forward. Work on what you share in common for the separation agreement. Successful divorces are sometimes like primary elections – where it’s less about individual wins and more about creating momentum. Create positive momentum and when people see light at the end of the tunnel – they’ll be more likely to be more amenable when discussing issues where there are differences.
And as always – love your kids more than you hate your ex.Try to keep their best interests at heart and killing their father or mother to their face isn’t that.
We hope you found today’s blog helpful. If you’re looking for Tampa Divorce Mediation, feel free to give us a call today and we’ll be happy to help you. Until then, stay calm, stay focused and good luck!