More often than not, divorces can be a whirlwind of stress. It can mean a new living situation. Parenting schedules and that’s before you get into dividing up the personal property and money. And that doesn’t even begin to sort through the emotional nature of the process, itself. While there’s really no such thing as easily getting through a divorce, there are some thing that if you come to peace with them early on, can take a lot of the edge off.
Today, we’re going to talk about a few things that every soon-to-be-divorcee should know about the process to better prepare them for whatever is coming next. Let’s jump right in.
There’s no such thing as ‘winning’ a divorce
Divorce is not mortal kombat. Divorces revolve around various issues and sorting them out in a way that makes everyone as happy as possible given all the variables of the situation. One spouse may get more custody of the children. The other may not get the financial support they hoped for. When you view it as a contest between ‘who got more’ you’ll lose out emotionally.
Instead, work together to try to find common ground and work those out of the way first. Remember the end goal: BOTH of you want the marriage to end so you can go on with your life. A pitched battle for one upping the other person can damage a ton of things, not limited to your bank account, your kids emotional well being and the like.
Once a divorce is over, there’s no point in caring about ‘who won.’
Trust us: Court stinks
Whether it’s using legal representation of Tampa Divorce mediation , trust us when we tell you – court is NOT fun. It’s expensive. It’s combative. And even worse – it’s potentially risky because you may lose many of the assets you’re trying to regain anyway. And you’ll blow through money in the process. It’s not worth the time, stress and money just to go to battle for the sake of it.
Being honest is the best pathway forward
Don’t hide assets. Don’t run from hard truths. Put things on the table and be willing to give a little bit in order to get things. Not only will NOT doing this create needless stress, but in some states – it can get you into quite a good deal of trouble, too. Judges will levy serious penalties on spouses who aren’t forthcoming – including steep (very steep) fines and if you really mess up, maybe even a little jail time, too. Then you really won’t be winning anything. Be honest. It’s the fastest way to resolution and getting on with your life.
Make sure you’re not totally disorganized. Inventory everything. Assets, money -absolutely everything. Life insurance policies, 401K’s, titles and anything else pertaining to assets. This is sometimes the most important step in the process because quite frankly, it puts everything worthwhile and important on the table first. And once you get through that, you can go back and forth on who gets the china and the carpets. Stay organized and know what it is you have to both bargain and negotiate with.
Divorce is never easy, but we hope you found today’s blog useful and helpful. If you are looking to use mediation as your pathway to a successful separation, give us a call today and we’ll be happy to help you out. In the meantime, good luck! Trust us! There’s light at the end of the tunnel!